Featured

Your perfectionism KILLS.

What is that thing everybody is looking for? Where can we find „perfection“?

The answer is pretty simple: No one has ever found it. And nobody will ever find it. Perfection is an illusion.

I myself fell victim to the society‘s misunderstanding that there actually is a „perfect“.

I thought I had to lose a ton of weight in order to live up to that standard.

Now, imagine you were on the search for the most beautiful spot in the city. You don’t stop looking for it since everybody tells you that it does exist. But still, you can’t find it.

As perfectionists we‘ll never find our destination because we‘ll always find something to criticize about our work.

Image result for kritisieren
Wow. Show me something more depressing, I‘ll wait.

My grandpa always said: „Larissa is such a perfectionist, one day she‘ll be a big thing!“ Well, first of all Opa, I’m not much taller than the average 13-year olds these days- and second of all, your argument about perfectionism doesn’t make any sense.

Don‘t get me wrong, I love my Opa. And it was cute of him (even tho it kind of put some pressure on me lols) to call me a perfectionist because for him that‘s something very positive he associates with me achieving what I‘ve put my mind to.

For reaching our goals, we have to define them first, though. Well, here comes the problem:

How can we define „perfect“?

Everyone has their own definition of „perfect“. That in turn, makes it impossible to reach that very goal because you’ll never live up to everyone’s expectations. There is no actual „perfect“- we can‘t define something that does not exist.

But how do you feel when you never reach your goals?

This one’s obvious: Frustrated. Depressed. The famous „I-never-want-to-leave-my-house-again“-feeling. And when the feeling of shame and failure is gone, you aim for trying even harder the next time – even though you’ve already given your all this time! The vicious circle is closing.

And our rewarding system in our brain has nothing to do.

Image result for trauriges gehirn
Look at that sad, sad brain

CONGRATULATIONS! You´ve created the ultimate source of unhappiness by wanting to live up to your OWN and others silly expectations!!

“Wow, Larissa, don´t be so harsh!” you might think. But first of all: I´m being honest. And second of all: I´ve been there myself.

Your perfectionism is killing you.

We are creatures of evolution. Us wanting to be perfect stops us from one of our core needs: Progress. The people you see complaining are those who are stuck in life, who don´t see themselves moving forward- hence the unhappiness.

  • Perfectionism prevents you from reaching your goals.
  • Perfectionism kills your creativity
  • Perfectionism kills your progress.
  • Perfectionism kills your happiness.
  • With preventing you from being happy, it´s preventing you to be your true self.

  • Perfectionism is stupid.

Image result for stop sign funny
!!!

Seriously, I mean it. Stop bullshitting yourself into thinking that perfectionism is something achievable. I know where it lead me. Believe me, you DON´T want to find out how hot the fires in hell actually are.

Imagine we lived in a perfect world: Where the trains are always in time, the sun is always shining, everyone loves one another and climate change is not even a thing – what you just read was MY definition of a perfect world. But what about the other 7 Billion people in this world. How would their definition of “perfect” look like?

I´d rather not know.

Instead, we must start accepting that NOTHING in this world lives up to our definition of “perfect”! Not me, not you, not the flowers in the garden, the picture on the wall or your freaking math homework; NO -THING! (If you have a dog tho, well, that´s an argument we can talk about)

I hope I could make you doubt the effictiveness of your perfectionist behaviour. Unfortunately, there is no step-by-step recipe for how to overcome those habits…

What I did tho, was to make myself aware of my destructive thinking whenever it popped up.

  1. I would immediatly stop at what I was doing.
  2. I tried to find a definition for the goal I was working towards – remember that we can´t find a clear definition for “perfection”; it´s not achievable and even less worth the try to achieve it !!!
  3. When I reached the goal I had set before, I forced myself to accept that I had finished (I told my mum about it and she would take the stick with the presentation for school from me)
  4. Ask somebody to help and remind you overcoming your perfecttionist patterns.
  5. I rewarded myself !! (food ;), relaxing, a gift to myself)

At first, it was hard to let go. But after a while, when I realized how much happier and fulfilled I had become (and that I was actually making progress in areas in my life in which I had been stuck for several months) I made starting to care a little less a habit.

My next blogpost on sunday will be about why caring less is the ultimate goal!

–> STAY TUNED 😉

„Don‘t try to be perfect in an imperfect world.“

~IFORGOTWHOSEWORDSTHOSEAREI‘MSORRY

*Be a badass!*

Lots of Love from Paris

Larissa XXX

Hi ! Nice to meet YOU :)

My name is Larissa and THIS is something very new to me – hence the excitement.

WordPress tells me to first introduce myself to you. And since I´m german and Germans always follow everyone´s demands:

Here‘s my introduction for you!

I want to spare you the details like me still attending school (is there a more boring subject I could potentially talk about??) and me being a dog mama. Or me wasting all my money on garage sales (because everything is “so cheap”).

By now, you´ve probably asked yourself two things:

  1. “What did I get myself into?”
  2. “WHY is she telling me all this?”

Well, as I told you, I had to introduce myself in good ol´german fashion!

But let´s get to WHY I created this website.

I was anorexic. WHAAAT, no decorative explanations that could make it more readable (is that even a word)?

One might ask: “Larissa, are you okay?!”

I now am.

But during my eating disorder, the darkest time of my life, there was no room for joy, let alone for anything fun or beautiful. I suffered.

And I know that there are a lot of beautiful souls who need help just as much as I needed it back then.

What a “happy” and “authentic” smile!!

Four years ago I´ve been released from a clinic which was supposed to cure me from my destrucive eating habits. Well, as you might imagine, that did not happen.

In fact, I felt worse than ever before.

Sure, weightwise I was considered „healthy“, I felt more energetic than I had for an entire year and my hair was finally growing back (which apparently didn´t stop me from plugging my eyebrows to a bare minimum- what was I thinking?!).

But my stress levels were as high as ever. The amount of food I was confronted with, completely overwhelmed my anorexic self! I felt like a pig, stuffed within an eight month´s period to then be slaughtered by the butcher.

No wonder that after my release from the clinic, the pounds where dropping again.

But then, something happened. My little brother´s eight year old friend died of cancer. I realized that I had treated my life like an unopened gift thrown away! I didn´t care about the present. (Wow, I should consider a career as poet.)

I had that `click´- moment. A moment when my body sat down with my brain to explain: “When will you learn not to take me for granted, you stooopid ***?! I can´t do this anymore. You need to stop this shit RIGHT. NOW.”

And finally, I listened.

What the clinic could not achieve, I did myself.

“God helps those who help themselves.”

I believe that we are capable of achieving ANYTHING we set our mind to. Just like I `managed´ to destroy myself, I built myself back up. This time not only physically- but also mentally.

I worked out what worked for me and my friends supported me throughout the whole time (Yes, I do have friends.).

Mentally strong, I wanted my body to be strong as well- I found my true passion in weight training and bodybuilding. The right exercises and nutrition allowed me to build the body I´ve always wanted- without restricting or starving myself. I LOVE IT.

I´m happy I swear, just flexing so hard that smiling was not possible anymore, lols

By now I consider myself a professional “Not-giving-a-damner“ for any anorexic triggers.

How I got to this point?

I read tons of books and articles about anorexia and eating disorders but none of them actually helped me. On the contrary: Often, they triggered me into old thinking patterns of feeling “fat” or “worthless”!

No bueno.

BUT: In this blog I will share with you the things I did (and still practice) to become happy.

When we´re happy, we can be healthy.

What I need to know from you is:

ARE YOU READY TO BE A BADASS?!

Lots of love,

Connect with me via instagram @larissamohrlez 🙂

Larissa XXX